It's funny when somebody dies, everything is illuminated, but there are just some things that are spotlighted, and you can't help but feel that you want to let go of some things that are mere nightlights. But admittedly, these nighlights are also the things that keep you smiling, or at least give you a little bit of strength. Here I am, ready to pry the world open, but must also keep in mind the things that are expected of me. I guess what's becoming evident to me is how being loosey-goosey does not erase the fact that I am responsible for certain people. Outrightly, it is not expected of me, but somehow, with events unraveling, I am made to realize this.

Somehow I cannot grip something I have been longing for.