Yoddle yoddle

Before I plunge into the structured world, I'd like to fly across this space and consume the time that has been set for me to do so. In approximately an hour or so, I will have to force myself to study. These past few months have been good to me, too good that I sense impending mediocrity. I am anxious about how life will be treating me come March, and it seems that I will have to control my inclination to magnify everything. Honestly, I am so fucking bored right now, bored out of my fucking wits. Can't do anything extreme because of financial constraints, and I just content myself that I have the internet. Hohum, what excites me the most is the fact that weekends allow for me to go to different places, that is, so I can gather data for my thesis. I am excited by the prospect of traveling to UP Los Banos this Saturday, it's something that pierces this balloon of hot, stuffy air I find myself in.

And what scares me the most is how I cannot afford to break off the boredom and entertain dread (fast-forwarded) because I have to get that diploma to embrace my grubby, greedy hands because I'm fed up with shit (although not in an explicit manner) of how everything is getting too close and reminding me of how I should have already graduated.

It's funny how I worked on dropping accounting, lightning-fast. I think I do a pretty mean show when it comes to eliminating and disinfecting myself from things that cause me hives.

But there are some things I would allow to linger.

Had coffee with my blockmate this afternoon, and it was something enjoyable because it reminded me of the times I spent with Pat. This was the first time in my senior year when I had a smoke with a good friend. They are in the same org, after all, and it just shows how I gravitate to certain types of people. And while I was ranting about someone, she said I reminded her of Daria. Haha

Which makes me a bigot. Yeahp, that's me.

Honestly, I just hate how accommodating I am. It's something I want to purge out of my system. I miss how selfish I was in high school, where it did not border on being fuck-mean, but was more of the self-interest-type of shield.