past time ko maburat

hay nakow. it dawns upon me that i am the child "with the different personality". it amazes me how i am the black sheep turned gray as my exclusion from my family has already gone passe, and how it is the sort of think my parents talk about with their acquaintances. that should be a good thing, right? but weirdly enough, no, i choose to be burat. it's because they have totally left me by myself, at times struggling for my own piece of sanity. in short, i cannot talk to anyone sanely close to me about how i am struggling to find myself nowadays. maybe they're tired; i know i am, and it is because of this that i have accepted the fact that life will work this way-if i fuck up, i have myself to answer to, and nobody else. it scares the shit out of me because, ultimately, it is with my power biceps that i will have to parkour myself up.