Wanted

After four years a stirring suddenly takes place in some aspect of life. And the scariest stirring, I think, is happening to me, when I am suddenly in a position where I want to gain control of everything in my life.

Just watched Wanted a while ago, and I know I would usually say that I'm tired of being angry. Now that I'm not that angry anymore, I think I have unearthed something more fundamental, that is, really trying to work on what kind of person I want to become.

I have sharpened myself and become blunt and vice versa during the past years, but I did not know where the hell I was going. I have gone soft, without knowing, without the clarity of realising what it is I actually want to be hard for.

And with the death of President Corazon Aquino, I have been faced with the fact that my age forces me to look at what kind of person I want to be.

And that goes for almost all aspects of my life. I am digging a hole in the dirt, and am ready to jump in.