I had a realization that I was suppressing going crazy or releasing any form of creativity because I was scared of not making the 8am cut-off every morning. And it will go on until Saturday, where my most dreaded subjects are scheduled. No, this is not another analysis of life, yeah, I have the gift of rant. I just want to know if anything in my life is going to change drastically soon, I'd like to have a gut feel, I am growing old, and have put structures in some goals, and all that jazz.
Julianne is here in Manila, somehow, I wish something out of my control would happen to my life just so some change could happen, but no, that would be wishing for something crazy; it's like I was expecting it to happen. I think she's happier in Australia now-having an outlet.
LM is a distant memory. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating, but climbing has become some sort of effort. I'm trying to make it to the sea by working for MSI. I hope that I stay there; I will promise to stay there until I pass that scholarship, and after I pass that exam.
I envy those with back-up plans. Those that can haughtily say, yeah, my mom wants me to go into this, into that. I've grown tired of fighting for doing what I want, and am in the phase where I think it would be a little easier to have someone push you in a certain direction.
But it is exciting as well, and there is less emotional baggage-you have no one to blame but yourself.
I will venture to Iloiolo this February. I hope that somehow I make it international.
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