While walking towards MSI, I thought about how I was not in the mood to get serious anytime soon. I don't think that there is anything truly to be serious about in my stage and phase in life. Even the thought of applying for other countries filled me with more happiness if I thought about it as something that I just wanted to do for the sake of getting away from everything or at least experienceing something new.
I realized that I was not in the mood to be giving or caring or even slightly concerned about other people's well-beings and expectations. I thought about what was keeping me from being happy, and I thought about how I was not always like this, slightly concerned about everything. It's tiring.
I thought about the time how I was not really concerned about gossip, looks, reputation, money, appearing smart. I knew I was smart. I knew I was fueled with passion about something I believed in. Not just because I wanted to appear indie.
It's fine if I look stupid, appear charlatan. I want to move in my own pace. I don't think I can survive being with people who think highly of themselves and who like surrounding themselves with thos types of people. I can't take your air. I'll live.
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