Zenlike Lunatics

There are just some people who are out rightly verbose, and that is just the way they are. There are those that prefer to keep silent, like wallflowers, but in actuality, they are those that are snickering in the back of everyone else's back, laughing at the absurdity of all that is happening, taking note of all the zooms and bangs and crashes, and like some indifferent sons-of-bitches laughing their heads off. And there are those that are taken-in-quick, lost in all the flurry, and it is those people that are great targets for angst. These places in space are interchangeable, and after finding yourself in one or more out of these seemingly unstable situations, you can't help but feel the moment, you can't help but feel victim to certain circumstances, but after getting into that cycle, you just realize how pathetic it is to actually keep holding on, but can't wipe of that silly grin on your face knowing that you have sensually enjoyed the joyride, and realize that it all will be a blur, so the wisest thing to do is immerse yourself in the acid but keeping a thin line of thread hanging on to your head.

Had a talk with my friend about how he finds it odious to follow values that he has not carefully examined. I guess we have all been victims of that, I know that I have, but certain themes that are appearing in my life have reinforced the need for careful examination. Well, there's that small problem of my big boo-boo, but there is also that great question of living certain lifestyles that would suit your values or things that are of utmost importance to you.

I believe in the process of destruction and recreation. I believe in the process of keeping that old, rotten characteristic of yours. It is now that I realize that I do not believe in clean slates. There is no clean slate. Once you decide on something, the residue will haunt you. And that residue need not maintain its characteristic. What it can do is to magically change its form into something that is more flourishingly progressive.

It felt empty having to discuss meaning with yourself everyday. But once you hit the a-ha! button of OH-MY-GOD what was I thinking? and realize how meaning is derived not out of sparring with it in the space within the recesses of your brain, nor releasing it into the wild and having it set free out of its leash, but actually finding it in more claustrophobic places like that seemingly mundane walk of yours towards the foot bridge, by golly, I believe that it is then that you have achieved mental absolution.

Thank god for thesis and antithesis!