had a meaningful talk with my friend last night,and throughout the process I realized that there are things i shouldn't force myself to be okay with, like feeling perpetually awkward. or feeling that i have to measure up to something. the past years have made me considerably low in my standards in a lot of things, and i don't think i put enough effort in finding what it is that makes me happy because i have been busy convincing myself that everything's okay the way it is.
i have been talking about letting go for a long time, and last night made me realize that i am all talk. as mansy put it, she has this image of me always carrying guns, ready for war. it's time to be selfish now, and i'm not covering up for the where's? anymore.
had dinner with my friends and i realized that there's so much more out there to explore, and i'm not getting younger.
and oh yes, i have ambitions too.
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