Thursday, March 25, 2010

Time to wake up bad naive little girl

In fairness, my mom answered with a yes on every question. She's just glad that I did not mess up. What's comforting is, I am going to hurt less everyday. I just wish that time would just pass by quickly so I can say that this has become a habit and that everyone will just resume their lives.

Not much to look forward to, well, as of today. Maybe I should follow ate's advice and try to gain some happiness in places I haven't tapped yet. Like shopping! haha. I guess I should also try to payback some time with the family.

It feels weird, but at least it's something new. I guess I wasn't meant for that status because I have short memory spans and have difficulty in keeping focus.

I just wish I could pick myself up sooner and have someone kick me in the ass to remid me that all is not lost.

I feel so defeated by circumstance and by expectations. But I'm glad I went through it. Makes me want to look for happiness within the confines of my own walls. Then surrender to the norms several years later (if and when I decide that it's worth my effort to actually socialize, then again, they say it comes when you least expect it).

What's funny is how I felt that it was something that could go on forever. I'm happy that some princess dreams do come true. I just wish I could fucking shoot my head to make all the glitter in my head scatter. Maybe this is how life goes, you need to wake up and stop dreaming for a while to start realizing that there are really no perfect jobs, parents, friends.

When I have a kid, if that being starts liking the social sciences, I will forbid it to take development studies. The discipline has got to be the most ideal of them all. Or maybe propose to Leland to create a subject called, THE EVILS OF DEVELOPMENT PRACTICE, just to ground students.

Jonas texted asking where I was planning to spend my holy week. I guess he's looking for distractions as well. Maybe he'll also be in Dumaguete for unigames.

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