sira ulo time

Oh my, oh my. Sumasakit dibdib ko at kailangan ko na ng dagat-dagatan bago tuluyang malanta na ako. Kailangan ko ng breath of fresh air. I am tired of reacting to circumstances, things that are beyond my control, things that are in hands of other people. I guess it's time to listen to myself before I reach rock bottom. Dagat en drink. The perfect combination.

nakakatawa

nagtaxi ako pauwi kanina tapos may babaeng naghihintay ng taxi sa daan. nilapitan niya yung taxi tapos nun niya lang ako nakita. sabi ng mata niya, "oh shit", tapos parang sine, slow-mo, nabasa ko bibig niya, sabi "AY MAY TAO PALA" putek nakakatawa noh, may mga bagay sa mundo na kailangan mo paalalahanan sarili mo at pagsabihan sarili mo OUT LOUD. Note to self: move it, bitch.

putaena ang inet

hillbilly lowlife time motherfuckers!

daydream mode, tralalalala

Just watched My Blueberry Nights days ago, and it's still giving me goosebumps. Alam mo iya, tama talga si sir leland. Pag may mga bagay na effort masyado, baka hindi siya sign na success! Haha, kaya diskartehan nalang natin mundo in the rolling-stone-kind-of-way. Anyway, yun na siguro ang aking present mind-set. Kanina habang umiinom ng tubig, nag-iisip ako ng mga gimik na pwedeng magpabuo sa sarili ulit. Takte, ououtdoor na uli ako. Tagal ko nawala sa scene na 'yan. Haha, fieldwork fun, meron naman, pero no nonsense, sheer pain for pleasure fun, wala. Haha, teka lang Gracian Lopeaz-Jaena, babalikan ko kayo in a while. :) Nakikinig ako ng Pachuca Sunrise, at putakte, can't wait to go to the beach.

Things that excite me right now:
1. The idea of wallclimbing again
2. dagat-dagatan
3. The idea of selling my drusmet
4. The idea of getting drunk like hell in the beach very,very, soon
5. The idea of cleaning up my act

rolling stone

my love beads can't take me anywhere. i'm stuck in a rut, but what's funny and eternally confusing for me is that i made this decision of scrambling my life and letting close-to-home struggles get the better of me. but profuse justifications won't take me anywhere, and my rolling stone just isn't budging. here i am, back in square one, razzled, dazzled, fazzled, but on a clean, empty slate. i hate myself for being a hillbilly, and i can't blame anyone else in this fucking place, but my chromosomal preferences. i hate being a bum, but i have to slap myself on the face soon so i can finally get it on, instead of vomiting on someone who shows me the least bit of affection.

Transitory

As I looked outside the window, I realized how this was something I should be getting used to. I guess what someone said was right, something like how the woman's soul is restless or how it takes forever to attain a certain kind of peace. If it'll take me forever to burn, I might as well enjoy it and not let anyone burn with me. I have been through hell these past years, and it might be too optimistic of me to hope that in the next decades, I will be happy and contented. Might as well see it in that light. Whooooo. What a joyride.

signs of the times

Gusto ko magpagupit ngayon, napakainit at naiinis na ako sa mahabang buhok at lahat ng napakaloob dito. Ang dami kong shit na nababasa about the woman's condition, naiinis na ako sa lahat lalo na kitang-kita ko sa paligid yung mga bullshit na nagyayari. I think that I can never fully accept things around me, and it's better if I don't vomit on anyone. So paalam muna. Time-out muna ako dyan.