Spoke to mom about retirement. Realized how little savings they have, and how foolish I am for talking about the NEED to study outside the country. I'm beginning to realize what a blessing it is to be kept in the project, just because I have enough means to look forward to a bright future. Trying to internalize how I should begin to ween myself away from incurring more costs to be paid by my dad. I'm going to have this line cut so I don't always rely on my mobile phone for connectivity. I mean, if Dana can do it, why the hell can't I? Also reflecting on the need to become my own person. I'm sure that growing up in this age for my parents meant that they had to deal with the fact that they would have to wing it, it, as in everything, pretty soon. Not in the mood for so much emotions, romantic notions, free thoughts today. Feel real grounded. Scared for my parents' sake. What if someone's health conks out? I mean, it happened last year, and it was dead serious. Singapore and Southeast Asia is enough to contribute to some form of happiness that will get me through the year. Methinks entering NEDA in 2013 is a wise choice because it will passively spring me towards the development career of choice. May not be an academic person, corporate person, but at least I get to experience development issues. Volunteering for one year is also an option, only because it will somehow make me want to work for the next years. Because I foresee that life in NEDA will never be truly development-oriented for me because it will never be grassroots enough. Maybe my philanthropic self will have to wait.