This Year's Unfinished Business

This has got to be the most horrible year of my post-college days. Everything is LINGERING. Paco's law career, my mother and father's on and off relationship, my sister's unstable residency, hope for studying abroad. Everything is in its maybe phase. I wish I could move on from this year, and bring people around me to realize the same thing. Going home to this house makes me sick. My mother's unkempt overall looks, her seemingly nonchalant view about this, her adamant I'm-the-victim stance. It makes me look at my life, and how I am juggling to respond to these unfortunate situations by being a proactive daughter. And all I get is rejection from both sides, both unwilling to make anything work out. Makes me realize how I have been wasting my time trying to make people hope, when I can't get myself to go out there and reach for my own dreams. Funny how people with seemingly small brains and negative attitudes will make it out alive. I was sad upon hearing that people want her out of PGH. But reflecting on her attitude to everything around her, I think that if and when she gets kicked out, I hope she realizes how not everything in this world is handed on a silver platter. She is so negative and unforgiving, and like my mom, they both feed on their anger. Not claiming to be a devout person of some sort. Just makes me wonder how they can ever make it out alive each day by dwelling on the past.