ayoko na punyeta ka

Before it fizzles out

Before the experience becomes a distant memory, I will attemp to document what has happened in the past seven days. (It's funny, I used to have the knack of writing in my journal without the least bit of apprehension or worry that I might not finish it entirely.) I am in Butuan right now, and the bosses went out for dinner. I decided to have dinner by myself because I enjoy wating and thinking about the have-beens and the next-times.

November 23, Monday

Sir Blas, Ms. Beechie and I all went to the airport at the same time, and we arrived in Butuan at around 12 pm. The Butuan airport reminded me somehow of the old Bacolod airport, where everything was manually done. Surprisingly, there weren't people to check whether you got your own luggage; no one really checked that out. After getting our stuff, we went out and immediately saw the contact of Haribon for vans. I saw a couple who looked like they were nearing their fifties. The guy held his surfboard, and they plainly looked like they came from Lanuza or Cantilan.

We rode the van of Ban-Ban's (the contact) brother and was charged a hundred bucks each going to Almont hotel (jeez, taking a trike would have just cost us seven pesos). Anyway, we proceeded to Almont, and checked in.

With us in the van were some guys from Manila who turned out to be recruiters. They were also on their way to Tandag like us, but they were out to go straight to Tandag. Ms. Beechie thought of having me go with them but eventually decided against it because they were going to take a van instead of the bus, and she told me it was hell riding a van going there because the driver would stuff the van with people like they were sardines. We eventually decided that I would go to Tandag the following day as I was waiting for money from the office, and I needed to withdraw it from my BPI account ASAP.

Butuan struck me as a fairly sleepy town, with a fair share of commercial establishments like Jollibee, Dunkin, Chowking and the like. Ms. Beechie and I shared rooms, and we ventured out to eat near the public market. We ate at a carinderia, and they had intersting viands which included papaitan and guso. I ordered papaitan, and stuffed myself. We went back to the hotel, and I checked my mail.

I went to Dunkin DOnuts to have coffee, and it surprised me to see that they were selling malnourished donuts. haha. Apparently, Dunkin Donuts has not quality control. (will upload the picture of the amazingly malnourished donut)

I went to BPI afterwards, which was FOUR blocks away. The receptionist from the hotel told me that it was near, and it was beside Jollibee. I walked and walked and walked, and finally saw signs of banks. After chacking my account, which still did not receive the amount from finance, I decided to walk back to the hotel while doing a bit of sightseeing. I went to St. Joseph Church and stayed for a bit, taking mediocre pictures of just about anything that interested me.

Finally, I went back to the hotel and decided to brush up on my readings for planning 201 class, and I browsed throught the Comprehensive Land Use Plan Guidelines of the HLURB. I chatted with the bellboy, asking him about what places were interesting to visit, and he helped me out with my IT. I planned on leaving the hotel early so I could go to the museums here, but sadly, the rain poured, and as Ms. Beechie and I were watching the news, turns out Surigao was going to experience a lot of rain. The Maguindanao Massacre also appeared on TV shortly afterwards, and I WAS IN SHOCK.

Nov. 24, Tuesday

(to be continued)

Dagdag bawas

Ilang araw lang ay tinanggala ko ng tinik ang sarili ko, tanggal ang emotional burden pero dagdag sa ibang comompartment. Pano mawawala na madadagdagan ang sarili?

Yan ang pagiisipan sa kalahatan.

The brush

Brushes were meant to straighten out the fizzle in my mind.
In the future, it will allow me to curl inside its bear trunks
Any amount of discomfort blankets the togetherness
I need not straightlaced folk of that sort, only, the right kind of brush against my cheek
Unlike that which flies into the air, strangely reminiscient of backhands
I am only aware of in my stride.

hello naropa

If not in Amsterdam, in that place.

I am falling in love with its stream of consciousness possibly due to the meteric cages I have axed down in my attempt to stop justifying the have-beens.

It seems like a distant memory, and come to think of it, I was just in a taxi, momentarily reflecting on all the bitterness it has caused me, more rooted, weirdly enough, but insignificant in magnitude.

But Craneley's gonna make it, and everything's going to be fine.

My mom called me downstairs to watch Randy David's Storyline in ANC. During my break a while ago, I remember looking at Sir Leland's blog on how he envisioned DS graduates. Put the two together and a myriad of thoughts start flowing in my brain. I will vomit them on my beloveds

atat sa pagkatao

kasama ko si pulan kanina, dinner at frap na dessert. sa puntong nagffrap kami, masaya. tapos medyo nagdownhill nung napagtanto ko na shet, may mga nawawalang mga relasyon sa kamalayan ko ngayon. hmm.

bago kami magdinner ay bumili kami ng mga abubot sa national. bumili ako ng planner, at nang pinagpipilian ko ang dalawa, pinili ko ang kulay berde (para envi, maalala ko), mas makapal (para mas maraming sulatan) at mas serious-looking (para GO FOR THE GOLD).

pero napag-isip ako sa aking pag-uwi. pinahihirapan ko ba ang sarili ko? baka isa talaga akong malaking minus sign.

inisip ko ng mabilis kung anu-ano ang mga magpapaatat sa akin. guimaras, dive sa anilao, bisita sa surigao, makuha ng MA, magsimula ng yoga. ok naman, pero pag may pinipilit na sitwasyon, may mga nasasaktan.

so ngayon, gusto ko nalang mag-isa. para walang masaktan. pero pwede pa rin ako sa sariling la-la lang.