I want to eat sushi later. And I will pay for it using the credit card. Sometimes, when I am really poor, I just like the idea of spending my parents' cash. Because I know that I avoided their kindness up to now.

When I was a kid, I used to dodge small treats so I could get bigger treats. Now, I realize that dodging small treats won't get me anywhere. Because bigger treats, such as education abroad, better rooms for rent and visits to SEA will not be funded by them. It will NOT happen. So when I visit during the weekends, I make it a point to get all the small treats. Like paid meals and free car rides.

But I still seem to think that there is a net that will catch me in the case that I fuck up bad. I should start hitting my head on the wall. Maybe it's the company I keep. I am all for enjoying my life and relishing my youth. But I am putting ambition and self-actualization on higher ground.

Maybe it's just me and my anxious inclinations. I can't seem to get anyone to wrap their heads around these.