it hit me that i can't be perky with anybody, and it might become such a hassle for people to try to get into my shoes, only i can't hold my muscles up for them to come a little bit closer. i'm trying an experiment, like how i successfully turned dirt into my second nature. talked to someone about how he did not put money in his values-scale, and even if i would like to think of myself as such, i cannot completely say that i do not value money, for heaven's sake, i am computing three months worth of salary to cover up my various "needs"-that being, an MA, a freedom dildo, a good trip, and of course, how can i forget, my payment for my month-long bumming at home. (thanks, mom.)
anyway, someone reminded me of not comparing lives, and yeah, i'm getting tired of that, so here i am again, basking in my sarcasm and enjoying it. i don't want to be happy anyways (there i said it).
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