Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Absolutely. Pissed.

My ovulation (I would like to think) dictates my mood. Despite of the fairly okay things that has been happening, I feel the need to mess things up. I am currently hating the circumstances I'm finding myself in. Sometimes, I feel that determinism is futile. I think that it has something to do with the fact that I absolutely feel the need to make decisions based on opposite sides of the spectrum. I just cannot take any form of dualism at all. I guess this is where the war I keep waging in my head, (mostly with myself) comes from. In high school, someone once commented that I had a gray area. I don't know how she concluded that. Neither do I know if that has something to do with my present mind-set. It is the fucking human condition, and it is my fucking obsession. What's ironic is, however I try to put myself in one extreme, I find myself magnetized, and seemingly middle again. And after a few moments of contemplation, I realize that I am the greatest bigot of all. It is logical to produce boxes when you aim for the extreme. But I just cannot take the duality. It is driving me fucking nuts.

Fucking shit. This is really pissing me off.

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