Let's pause

I can honestly say that I am happy right now. I was able to hang around with my blockmates, and it reminded me of the feeling in high school where I was just laughing my head off, laughing at anything, at the slightest facial movement, stupid joke, weird intonation, weird look, booger-in the-nose, pimple-on-the-wrong-part-of-the-body-type.

I believe there will come a time wherein I will look in the mirror, and say to myself, "Grow up, fucker." I am perpetually looking for something to laugh at, and I think something went wrong when I was about twelve years old; I have not grown up since. Maybe it's because I have not felt what it is to suffer. I've had rough times, and I think it's okay to pat myself on the back and say that I did make decisions that are worth it, but I have not experienced suffering in the raw, unprocessed, in-your-face, pure form. There haven't been any external misfortunes that have really bulldozed me, and I am thankful that I have small bumps in my life are consistently making me resilient. But it's funny how I asked for tremors in my life, and it did give me tremors (a little too much this year and last year). haha :D

I saw this ad in a magazine yesterday of an Asian woman showing her upper body, I think she was Chinese, and a line saying, "Nice dumplings." It was an ad of an Asian bar in New York or something. Double whammy for women and Asians! I am more or less used to the fact that sex sells, and women are the first-liners in ads, but the fact that it was alluding to my part of the world was just foul. PLUS IT WAS IN AN INTERNATIONAL MAGAZINE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. Just when you thought the Chinese were getting their BIG break.

Anyway.

I used to gripe about gossip. But just a few days ago I realized that if you listen to it pretending that you don't have anything between your ears, it can actually contribute to your awareness.
*Information storage temporarily hanging in the space between*